Why Wedding Planning Feels So Stressful (And How to Make It Enjoyable)
So you’re engaged — congratulations! You and your partner are about to embark on one of the most beautiful days of your lives. But if you’re anything like most couples, you might already be feeling… overwhelmed. The excitement is there, yes, but so too is that creeping sense that planning this wedding might feel more like a full-time job than a celebration.
In fact, according to a 2023 survey by Zola, 59% of couples describe wedding planning as overwhelming. That’s well over half of couples so rest assured that it’s not just you feeling the pressure!
So - why is it so hard? In this post I’ll unpack the biggest stress-triggers in wedding planning — and share practical ways to reset, regain control, and actually enjoy the journey to your “yes”.
1. Life-changing decision + high expectations = pressure cooker
When you commit to marrying your partner, you’re not just planning a party — you’re marking a major life transition and creating the start of your marriage. That alone carries emotional weight.
Add in expectations from family, opinions from friends, and the feeling that this day needs to be “the best day of your life”, and it’s no wonder so many couples feel the pressure.
Big emotions come up during wedding planning — joy, excitement, stress, even guilt or anxiety. That’s completely normal. It means you care. The key is to give yourself permission to feel it all, rather than trying to push through pretending it’s fine.
Take-away: Recognise that the magnitude of what you’re doing naturally creates stress. That acknowledgement can help you be kind to yourselves.
2. Decision fatigue is real
From the moment you start planning, you’re making decision after decision: which venue, what colour scheme, how many guests, who to invite (and who not to). It’s constant, and it can be mentally exhausting. Plus, the mountain of emails from every single category of vendor is a LOT.
Add in that every decision seems to come with questions: What’s essential? What’s optional? What will guests remember? What won’t they? What will it cost? What will my family expect?
The truth is, there’s no such thing as a “perfect” choice — there’s only what feels right for you. If you’re stuck, come back to your priorities. What’s most important to you both? Focus your energy there, and let the rest fall into place.
If you’re working with a planner, this is where they shine — guiding you through decisions in the right order, so you’re never drowning in options.
Take-away: Break it into manageable stages. One decision at a time, rather than trying to do everything at once, makes it feel far more achievable. Sit down with your partner and work through my Priorities Worksheet to ground yourself and clarify what’s actually important.
3. Budgeting is stressful
Money is one of the biggest stress triggers for couples. Even when you’ve set a budget, costs creep in, quotes vary wildly, and it’s easy to feel out of your depth.
Beyond just costs, there’s also the pressure of feeling like you’re supposed to spend, to “go big”, to have something Instagram-worthy. That adds extra strain.
What helps? Creating a priority-based budget — not a copy-paste of someone else’s spreadsheet. If florals, photography, or food are what you care about most, put your money there and trim the rest. Every couple’s version of value is different.
And remember: you don’t have to spend beyond your means to have a beautiful, meaningful day. You just need intention and smart planning.
Take-away: Get very clear early on about what you can afford, what you value, and what you’re willing to compromise on. As a planner I emphasise this with every couple.
4. Guest lists and family dynamics are tough
Families, friends, traditions, culture — they all bring expectations. Then there’s the guest list: the who, the plus-ones, the seating plan, the dynamics. It often starts small: “Can we invite so-and-so?” or “Our family always does this tradition…” Before you know it, you’re trying to please everyone and your wedding no longer feels like yours.
And it’s not just the logistics — there’s emotional labour too: wanting to please, worrying about offending, trying to make everyone happy. And that’s a lot.
Plus, it’s true what they say: the higher the headcount, the more you spend.
Boundaries are key here. Sit down with your partner early on and decide together what matters most to you both. Present a united front when it comes to family decisions — it’s much easier when everyone knows you’re on the same page.
Take-away: Early on, set the framework with your partner (and if needed, your families) about what’s important to you two. Clear communication helps avoid resentments later.
5. You’re still living life while planning your wedding
You’re planning a huge event while also working an actual job, paying bills, trying to keep up some form of a social life, maybe raising kids or renovating a house. Of course it feels overwhelming — it’s another entire job layered on top of your already full plate. While you plan this very special day, you’re still living your everyday life. That balancing act is tiring.
The secret? Schedule “wedding-free time.” Have one night a week where you don’t talk about table linens or budgets. Make wedding talk COMPLETELY off limits. Watch a movie, go for a walk, have dinner together — anything that reminds you why you’re doing this in the first place.
Take-away: Schedule in non-wedding time. Keep one evening a week or one weekend day strictly not about the wedding. Your relationship and your wellbeing matter. Reach out to a planner or coordinator for some help if you need it.
6. Social media is lying to you
Let’s face it: Pinterest, Instagram, blogs — the weddings you see there look flawless, magical, seamless. The danger? You compare your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel.
You scroll through Instagram and see weddings that look Vogue-worthy — every flower perfectly placed, every guest glowing, every photo straight out of a magazine. What you don’t see is the 18 month planning checklist, the last-minute vendor drop outs, or the rain plan that got activated literally just one hour before the ceremony.
Tiktok definitely doesn’t help. You scroll past video after video that starts with “here’s what I’ve done as a 202x bride…”, which leaves you feeling like you’re behind on planning and not spending enough money.
Comparison can steal the joy from your own experience. Inspiration is wonderful, but it should enhance your ideas, not make you feel “less than.” Your day should feel like you, not like a copy of someone else’s.
Remember: high expectations = high anxiety.
Take-away: Use inspiration, but don’t let it dictate your reality. Your wedding should reflect you, not someone else’s aesthetic or someone else’s social feed.
7. The fear of something going wrong
Even with the best planning, some things will be out of your control: weather, delays, vendor hiccups, last-minute guest changes. These moments don’t ruin your day — but the fear that they might can add a lot of anxiety.
Here’s the deal: planning with only the “ideal scenario” in mind sets you up for stress. Don’t create a tight timeline that leaves no room for unexpected delays.
Having a solid plan (and a professional to oversee it) is what transforms panic into peace. With an experienced coordinator managing the details, you can focus on being present — not panicking about whether the champagne tower is ready on time.
Take-away: Build in buffer time, have a Plan B (and maybe C), and remember: the day is about your union — not every single decorative detail.
8. You feel like you have to do it all yourself
Behind the decorations and the details there’s a lot going on: identity shifts, saying goodbye to the last name you’ve had for forever, stepping into a new role, sometimes navigating grief or family complexities. These feelings can be intense, and they often get buried under the “wedding stuff”.
This one hits home for so many couples — especially those going the DIY route. There’s pride in creating things yourself, but there’s also burnout when the to-do list becomes endless. Wedding stress causes anxiety, headaches, changes in appetite, trouble sleeping - just to name a few.
You don’t have to carry the whole load. Whether it’s delegating tasks to your bridal party, bringing in help for planning, or hiring an on-the-day coordinator to take over the reins, support is your best friend. It’s still your vision — you’re just giving yourself the space to enjoy it.
Take-away: It’s absolutely okay to feel emotional, to feel stressed or unsure. Acknowledge it. Talk about it. Make space not just for the details, but for you and your partner.
So… how do you make it easier?
Get clear on priorities: Decide early what matters most. The rest is secondary.
Communicate often: Keep your partner in the loop and share the load.
Plan buffer time: For both your timeline and your mental space.
Ask for help: Whether from family, friends, or a professional planner — you don’t have to do this alone.
Remember your “why”: This isn’t about a perfect event. It’s about the two of you celebrating your story.
As someone who offers on-the-day coordination and full planning/styling for couples, I’ve seen first-hand how much relief having trusted support brings. Beyond the logistical help, you get a shoulder to lean on, a sounding board, someone who knows the vendor world, the timelines, the pitfalls.
Experts say hiring a professional can dramatically reduce stress by off-loading tasks and giving you someone to rely on. You deserve that.
Take-away: If you’re feeling the overwhelm creeping in — talk to a coordinator or planner. It may be the investment that lets you enjoy the journey, not just endure it.
Planning should be part of the memory, not just a blur you survive!
Your wedding is so much more than just one day. The months leading up to it are part of the story you’ll tell for years. And it’s completely okay if parts of that process feel intense, heavy or just plain messy. The key isn’t to pretend everything’s perfect — it’s to plan intentionally, communicate bravely, live well outside the spreadsheets, and choose support.
If you’re working with Hitch Perfect, I’ll be with you every step of the way — keeping things personal, luxe but manageable, and always focused on you two first. So that when your wedding day arrives, you arrive not as frazzled fiances, but as two people ready to celebrate, relax and be fully present.
Ready to make it more joy-filled and less stress-filled? Reach out for a chat — let’s map out your vision, your must-haves, your timeline and your relaxed, joyful route to “I do”.